You’ve written your book (or screenplay!). You’ve labored over it for months or years and polished every syllable until your masterpiece is ready to hit the marketplace. Now comes the hard part: finding someone — preferably an agent — to read it.

“Find” is actually the wrong word. What you really have to do is attract readers. And to attract readers you have to call on all your skills as a salesman.

“Salesman?” you cry. “I’m a writer not a salesman!”

Uh-huh. Glad you’ve enjoyed your stint in fantasyland, my friend, but it’s time to take a step into the real world.

At this point, you have a product that needs to be moved and there’s only one way to move it: Advertising. Any good salesman knows all about the benefits of advertising. From the biggest corporation with their multi-million dollar commercials to the guy standing on the street holding a sign for the local car dealer: Big Savings! Today Only!

Advertising is what any good salesman uses to attract buyers. You go to a used car dealer to see what’s available and what happens? The salesman comes over and guides you toward the latest lemon while he tries to smooth-talk you into buying it. And, boy does he make it attractive. It has the latest this and the latest that and it’s only been driven by a little old lady on weekends, and this baby purrs. His sales pitch is his advertisement.

And that’s exactly how you get people to read your book. Your sales pitch. You have to prepare your pitch both verbally and on paper and you have to present it with confidence and polish.

You’ve all probably heard of a Svengali Deck, otherwise known as TV Magic Cards. For those of you who haven’t, a Svengali Deck is a special deck of playing cards that allows the user to perform a dozen or more amazing card tricks without having to develop any sleight-of-hand skills.

In the old days, magician/pitch-men used to stand on street corners or at swap meet booths and demonstrate the wonders of this deck of cards by showing you an eye-popping trick. This trick would be brief and straight to the point — just enough to show off the virtues of the deck and get you digging for the cash to buy one.

When you prepare your all-important sales pitch to entice readers to your book, you have to approach it with the same economy and magic the magician/pitch-men use. You have to get your story across in a few simple words and those words must have eye-popping appeal. They must have that wow quality that forces the reader to say, “I’ve gotta read that!”

That’s where your logline comes in.

A logline is a one or two-sentence summary of your story. Probably the best place to find a sample logline is to look in your TV Guide or local equivalent, which are full of brief story summaries. But let me give you an example.

Since I come from a screenwriting background, where loglines are as common as beautiful young starlets, let’s take a look at a movie logline:

After he’s wrongly convicted of murdering his wife, a high-powered surgeon escapes custody and hunts down the real killer, a one-armed man.

This, of course, is from The Fugitive. Maybe not the liveliest logline in the world, but it tells you just about everything you need to know about the movie. We know who the lead character is, what his dilemma is and, most importantly, what he hopes to accomplish.

What we have above is essentially the spine of the story — the sentence the entire movie hangs on. Sure, we could talk about the relentless U.S. Marshal who is after the doctor; we could talk about the train crash and the chase sequences and the experimental liver drug, but when it comes to the logline, none of that really matters. We don’t have time for it.

Like that TV Magic card trick, your logline has to be simple and to the point and it has to attract the reader to the possibility of a great read. When I look at the above logline, I think, ‘Wow, that sounds like it could be an exciting story.” And, of course, we all know it is.

The anatomy of a logline is this: The lead character has a problem and must achieve a certain goal in order to solve that problem. Who, What, How. Who is the lead character, what is his problem and how is going to solve it.

Let’s take a look at The Fugitive again:

Who: A high-powered surgeon.

What: Wrongly convicted of murdering his wife.

How: He escapes custody to hunt down the real killer.

Chances are pretty good that you’re scratching your head right now and saying, “But my story is much too complex for that.”

This may be true, but when you’re at a party trying to convince someone to read your book, you don’t have time for much detail. At least not for that initial grab.

After you have their attention, then you can launch into a slightly more complex version that really sells the book.

Let’s take a look at a fairly complex story: The Godfather.

We all know The Godfather is full of vivid characters and great subplots and big moments, but what really is the essence of the story?

Here’s what I get:

When his father is gunned down,  a gangster’s reluctant son must seek revenge and take over the family business.

Who: A gangster’s son

What: His father is shot.

How: He seeks revenge and takes over the family business.

The story plays on a rich canvas, but it is much less about Vito Corleone, the Godfather, and more about Michael, the up and coming Godfather. It is the story of his ascent (or descent, depending on your POV) to the leadership of the Family. Much of the story leads up to the moment Vito Corleone is shot, then follows Michael as he gets revenge and eventually takes over as head of the organization. Everything in the story hangs on that simple logline or spine.

If you follow the usual marketing strategies, you’ll be sending out query letters and making phone calls and throwing your pitch at just about everyone in your path.

A really concise, well thought out logline will help you get the results you want.

When I tell my friends how I got my book agent, I see murder in their eyes.

You see, most of my friends struggled many years, sending out query letter after query letter in hopes that an agent would respond and request a copy of their manuscript.

But, as William Goldman says, I jumped past all the shit.   And though it’s doubtful you’ll be able to take the route I did, there are certainly ways to make an agent hunt much easier — assuming, of course, that you have the material to back it up.

Many years ago, I longed to be a screenwriter.  Problem was, I lived in Honolulu and had not a single contact in the film industry.  Not an enviable position to be in (except for the Honolulu part, of course).

But one day a friend of mine called me up and said, “Hey, Rob, you ever heard of something called the Nicholl Fellowship?”

I told her I hadn’t.  So she pointed me to the latest copy of Premiere Magazine, where there was an ad in the back pages for the Nicholl, a screenwriting competition put on by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.  The winner was promised a check for twenty grand and a crapload of exposure in Hollywood.

The deadline was nearing, so I quickly finished up a screenplay I was working on (my first feature-length script in many years), and sent it in.  And low and behold, about six or so months later, I was one of five winners. A month after that, I sold my first screenplay to Showtime.

Talk about a life changing experience.

Fast forward.

Many years later, after some hits and near misses with production companies, I wound up writing animated shows for Fox Kids.  Not exactly the life I had envisioned for myself.  It was lucrative, but not very fulfilling.  And when those jobs started to dry up, I decided to quit the crazy world of Hollywood and find steady, nine to five work.

I stopped writing altogether for a couple years.  But one day I got the bug again and decided to try my hand at another screenplay.  When I pitched the idea to a novelist/screenwriter friend, she said, “Why don’t you write this as a novel instead?”

So I did as she suggested and wrote my first book, KISS HER GOODBYE (then titled A MEASURE OF DARKNESS).  When it was finally done (and it took me a while), I dug up the email address of my former screen agent and asked if she’d be willing to read the manuscript.  She said, sure.  And I’m sure she wasn’t expecting much.

Two weeks later she called, telling me she loved the book and had sent it to a New York literary agent.  A couple weeks after that, I got a call from my current agent, Scott, offering to represent me.  And a couple months after that, I had my first deal with St. Martin’s Press.

See why my friends want to murder me?

So that’s all there is to it.  If you have the right connections, you too can jump past all the shit and get an agent.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.  THAT’S YOUR ADVICE?

YOU SUCK.

Okay, you’re right.  Not the best advice in the world.  So let’s get serious.

If you’re starting with this article, you need to go back and read HOW TO GET AN AGENT (Phase One).  Have you done that?  Great.

Now that you’re armed with a truly great pitch for your book, there are certain things you need to do.

First, forget about query letters. Most of them wind up in the trash.  Sure, there are agents out there who might be willing to read them, but the chances of you snagging a good one are less than — WHOOPS, WAIT A MINUTE:

(A number of people have pointed out I’m full of crap on this point.  I stand corrected.  Maybe I’m thinking of Hollywood agents, who are a whole different breed.)

(I just received a tweet from a literary agent friend (Janet Reid – link) who says that 1/2 of her sales come through query letters.  If query letters do indeed work — and they certainly do in her case — then once again you must make sure you have that pitch ready to go.  Hook the agent from the first paragraph and make that query short and to the point.  Brevity is king.

And in the spirit of admitting I’m not perfect — the route is different for everyone — I will be offering up an article on how to write a query letter.  How’s that for a mea culpa?)

YOU STILL SUCK.

Queries or not, many agents get their clients through referral.  In other words, one of their writers or friends or associates says, “Hey, I just read this great manuscript and you’ve definitely got to take this guy (or gal) on.”  It is, certainly, a sure way to get your book moved to the top of the reading pile.

So how the heck do you get a writer to give you a referral?

I’m afraid it’s going to cost you money.

No, this isn’t an agent referral scam.  Calm down.  I don’t want any money from you (although I won’t argue if you feel compelled to buy one of my books — they make great gifts).

One of the best ways to get a referral is through networking.  Now, you can try to do that networking online.  Which will cost you practically nothing.  Makes friends with writers and agents through their blogs, their facebook pages, through Twitter, what have you.

But such an approach can be problematic.  Mostly because professionals are always a bit wary of people who hit them up to read their manuscript.

So what you really need to do is spend some money and get your butt to one of the many writers’ conferences that are held every year throughout the country.  These conferences include Bouchercon, Thrillerfest, Left Coast Crime, RWA and the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention.

The beauty of these conferences is that you are surrounded by people who are actively working in the publishing industry.  Agents, editors, publishers, writers, booksellers and librarians.

Now there isn’t much a bookseller or librarian can do for you at this stage of your career, but if you make your presence known with the agents, editors, publishers and writers — introduce yourself and buy them a drink, get to know them on a personal level, then your chances of getting that referral will raise accordingly.

The last thing you want to do is come on too strong.  You don’t just walk up to a guy and say, “Hey, will you read my book?”

He or she is likely to smile politely, then run in the opposite direction.  But if you can have a GENUINE conversation with one of these people, and find a way to weave your pitch into that conversation, then you may well find yourself faced with an opportunity to get your work read.

Another great thing about many of the conferences is that they often have workshops and pitch fests that you can attend that will put you face to face with these very same professionals.  In these pitch fests, you will be given a few minutes to talk to an editor or an agent, and if they like your pitch, they may well request a partial or even full manuscript.

The Romantic Times Booklovers Conference is especially good for this — assuming you write romantic fiction (although they’re starting to branch out a bit, which is why I attended recently to promote my thrillers).  They devote an entire wing of the conference to aspiring writers, and one I spoke to told me she had been asked by several different editors for a partial manuscript.

But even if you don’t do a pitch session, you will be meeting a ton of people at these conferences, all of them either professionals or aspiring writers like yourself.  Today’s aspiring writer is tomorrow’s pro, so you never know when these friendships will pay off.

But I can say for a fact that they do work.  In the last few months I have referred two people I met on the conference circuit to my agent.  We struck up a friendship, they sent me their work, and I was impressed enough to send that work on.  And I know several other aspiring writers who got their agent the very same way.

Writing query letters may sometimes work, but this more personal approach is much better, in my opinion.  Yes, it will cost you some serious money — conferences aren’t cheap — but the investment can turn out to be well worth it.

For you screenwriters in the crowd, you have a tougher road.  There aren’t a whole lot of screenwriting conferences out there, and those that exist probably aren’t as receptive to pitching as the publishing conferences are.

The truth is, Hollywood is a notoriously difficult nut to crack, but I would urge you to look into screenwriting contests and fellowships.  As I explained above, the Nicholl did wonders for me.

The key to it all is to have that pitch ready, and to have a manuscript (or screenplay) that lives up to the hype.  I’m of the belief that if you have the goods, sooner or later you’ll make a connection with someone who can make it happen for you.

Okay, full disclosure: I’ve only written one query letter in my life. When I wrote that letter, I made every possible mistake you can make. It was long, rambling, full of jokey b.s. and cutesy little asides that I thought would get the attention of the agent in question.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise that I never got a response. If I had received that letter, I would have tossed it after the first paragraph.

But believe it or not, I’m here today to talk about query letters that work. Part of the reason I’m writing this is as a kind of apology for a small part of How to Get an Agent (Phase Two), in which I said agents don’t read query letters.

When I originally wrote it, I was thinking of Hollywood agents. The chances of one of them reading a query letter are, I believe, pretty slim. And until I get an email from a legitimate Hollywood agent telling me he or she reads them, I’m going to stick with that thought.

Literary agents, however, are a different breed. I discovered this very quickly when I sold my first book. The literary agents I know are generous, thoughtful people who are much more accessible than I ever expected.

But anyone who has read the above article knows that I did not go the query route in getting my book agent, but rather the “referral” route, so I’m not exactly an expert in sending out those query letters.

I do have a brain, however, and I try to use it regularly. And it seems to me that anyone trying to sell something on paper should always go for brevity. Yes, I know your book is too complicated to describe in just a couple of sentences, but I tend to think a couple of sentences is about all you have to grab an agent’s attention. Again, I could be wrong about this. But my gut tells me I’m not.

So since I’m not an expert at writing query letters, I thought I’d call on some people for whom a well-written query letter actually worked. Several writing friends emailed me the queries that helped them get the interest of an agent, but for brevity’s sake (there’s that word again), I chose the one that most easily hooked me.

It just so happens that this query letter, written by my friend (and a terrific author), Bill Cameron, got him his agent, who subsequently turned around and sold the book to Midnight Ink. Here’s the letter in all its glory:

Dear Ms. Reid,

I’m looking for a home for Lost Dog, my 93,000-word mystery novel set during the bleak mid-winter in Portland, Oregon.

Peter McKrall, disaffected smart-ass and kleptomaniac, finds a dead hooker in the park while looking for his niece’s lost toy dog. At the crime scene, he has a chance encounter with the killer, Jake, who panics and sets out to implicate Peter in the crime. The next thing Peter knows, the victim’s frantic ex-con daughter is calling in the middle of the night and the police, misdirected by Jake and by Peter’s own sordid past, have cast suspicious eyes his way.

My stories have appeared in The Alsop Review online and The Dunes Review. I have also had a group of short serial mysteries published in the Portland Southeast Examiner.

Regards,

Bill Cameron

Notice how Bill gets straight to the point? Notice how his synopsis is extremely brief, but carries just enough story details to make you want to read the book? Notice how he concludes with a short sentence about his credits?

This to me is the perfect query letter. Now, obviously, you wouldn’t want to copy Bill’s letter directly, but this should give you a great idea of what a successful query is all about. I can’t read Janet Reid’s mind, but I’m sure she must have read this and thought, “I’ve gotta take a look at this book.” A good thing she did, too, because Bill is now a twice published author, working on his third book.

If you’re getting ready to send out a query letter, I’d suggest you take a look at my article How to Get an Agent (Phase One), which will tell you how to create a story pitch that’s brief and to the point.

Then follow Bill’s lead and make that query sing.