Okay, full disclosure: I’ve only written one query letter in my life. When I wrote that letter, I made every possible mistake you can make. It was long, rambling, full of jokey b.s. and cutesy little asides that I thought would get the attention of the agent in question.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise that I never got a response. If I had received that letter, I would have tossed it after the first paragraph.

But believe it or not, I’m here today to talk about query letters that work. Part of the reason I’m writing this is as a kind of apology for a small part of How to Get an Agent (Phase Two), in which I said agents don’t read query letters.

When I originally wrote it, I was thinking of Hollywood agents. The chances of one of them reading a query letter are, I believe, pretty slim. And until I get an email from a legitimate Hollywood agent telling me he or she reads them, I’m going to stick with that thought.

Literary agents, however, are a different breed. I discovered this very quickly when I sold my first book. The literary agents I know are generous, thoughtful people who are much more accessible than I ever expected.

But anyone who has read the above article knows that I did not go the query route in getting my book agent, but rather the “referral” route, so I’m not exactly an expert in sending out those query letters.

I do have a brain, however, and I try to use it regularly. And it seems to me that anyone trying to sell something on paper should always go for brevity. Yes, I know your book is too complicated to describe in just a couple of sentences, but I tend to think a couple of sentences is about all you have to grab an agent’s attention. Again, I could be wrong about this. But my gut tells me I’m not.

So since I’m not an expert at writing query letters, I thought I’d call on some people for whom a well-written query letter actually worked. Several writing friends emailed me the queries that helped them get the interest of an agent, but for brevity’s sake (there’s that word again), I chose the one that most easily hooked me.

It just so happens that this query letter, written by my friend (and a terrific author), Bill Cameron, got him his agent, who subsequently turned around and sold the book to Midnight Ink. Here’s the letter in all its glory:

Dear Ms. Reid,

I’m looking for a home for Lost Dog, my 93,000-word mystery novel set during the bleak mid-winter in Portland, Oregon.

Peter McKrall, disaffected smart-ass and kleptomaniac, finds a dead hooker in the park while looking for his niece’s lost toy dog. At the crime scene, he has a chance encounter with the killer, Jake, who panics and sets out to implicate Peter in the crime. The next thing Peter knows, the victim’s frantic ex-con daughter is calling in the middle of the night and the police, misdirected by Jake and by Peter’s own sordid past, have cast suspicious eyes his way.

My stories have appeared in The Alsop Review online and The Dunes Review. I have also had a group of short serial mysteries published in the Portland Southeast Examiner.

Regards,

Bill Cameron

Notice how Bill gets straight to the point? Notice how his synopsis is extremely brief, but carries just enough story details to make you want to read the book? Notice how he concludes with a short sentence about his credits?

This to me is the perfect query letter. Now, obviously, you wouldn’t want to copy Bill’s letter directly, but this should give you a great idea of what a successful query is all about. I can’t read Janet Reid’s mind, but I’m sure she must have read this and thought, “I’ve gotta take a look at this book.” A good thing she did, too, because Bill is now a twice published author, working on his third book.

If you’re getting ready to send out a query letter, I’d suggest you take a look at my article How to Get an Agent (Phase One), which will tell you how to create a story pitch that’s brief and to the point.

Then follow Bill’s lead and make that query sing.